People often mistake seeing me rushing through the school gates of a morning as me being late or just generally crap with timing.
Truth is I could quite easily be at those gates by 8:3O most mornings (doors open at 8:45 for the kids to go in) but I purposely make sure I don't get to that gate until 8:45, if I do happen to be earlier than that I'll walk the longer way to school and if we are still early instead of going along to the school and waiting for the doors to open, I'll pop into my mums on route to pass the extra time even if its just 5 minutes.
I do this on purpose to avoid any socializing when it comes to waiting in the school at every chance possible the thought makes me shudder, it's just not something I can do.
Luckily a few mums will go out of their way to speak to me if I happen to cross their paths as they know I suffer with anxiety, if every parent at the school was the same as those wonderful ladies maybe just maybe I'd happily go along earlier and let Issy run wild with her friends before she goes in but right now as much as it pains me to say it I'm really not able to just yet but I WILL!
I'm yet to do a school pick up without ending up into a big stress ball (I feel myself go literally like a puffer fish)
having so many people around me puts me on edge and really stresses me out.
To the point I've often left the school looking like a pyshco effing and jeffing away to myself all hot and flustered, It honestly does feel like that day is out to get me Daisies falling over, Issy's running away, the girls book bags are hanging open, I'm piled with coats and whatever else the girls have brung home from the day at school everyone's looking, I'm sweating as if I've just finished a work out at the gym just get me home already.
Things I planned to, should and want to be enjoying ends up leaving me in more stress then what the days up to the girls births did, I want to enjoy watching my girls run together while I'm loaded up like a donkey but anxiety gets the better of me and turns those joyful moments into my own miniature hell!
To help with the end of the day pick ups I take my headphones, pick a bench as far from people as possible but one that's in between where Issy comes out and Daisies nursery so I can be found by both and listen to my music until Issy walks out and then its round to the nursery to collect Daisie.
Once those headphones are out the fun really begins
If you suffer with anxiety and have school runs to manage I'd love to hear your coping techniques
I wish I had the answers for you Cherub... It is something that I too struggle with. I am painfully shy and get worried over the strangest things. I could kick myself some days. I have found that I get less anxious when I am there as the gates open. If I am running late and I feel like I look flustered, I worry that people are judging me. I tell myself that if I am a part of the flow of parents, I am almost invisible. Sorry that I haven't been helpful, just wanted you to know that you are not alone xxxx
ReplyDeleteI've never thought of it that way and it makes so much more sense to blend in with others rather then being the last in, You've been so helpful just by taking the time to not only read my post but to leave a comment too! Thank you :) x
DeleteI totally understand this. I do the same. When my daughter died everyone was suddenly my friend! I'd go into the playground and parents and teachers would be seeking me out to hug me or talk. I was kind of grateful but I'm a private person so found it quite overwhelming. I still keep my head down. It's easier with my baby in tow now as he's my distraction. People either coo over him or leave me alone if I look hurried. Could you tie in school pick up with a jog? So you're doing something rather than worrying. I used to time running with pick up. Not much help sorry but just know you're not alone and I bet there's a good number of mums who feel the same xx
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your daughter, I found having my youngest with me when she was a baby helped so much because I could easily pretend I was dealing with her so people wouldn't stop to talk or if they did the focus was on her and not me, I've never thought of tying it in with something else I usually head to the shops if its food shop day so my minds on what I need to get but of course that's not an everyday thing. Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment it honestly means so much x
Deleteaww hugs hun i know how you feel school run can be daunting i have a few mummys i talk to on way or in playground, but theres other mums i walk past and dread it i often worry they talk about me, or snigger at my fashion sence etc, i guess end of day we all might be thinking this about each other on the school run, and alot of us must find it daunting not to mention wanting to be back home in bed with coffee on the cold days. or relaxing in the sun on warm days, anxiety can be tough at times i guess little steps at a time. i know you are brave and strong you just need to take little steps at time and find what works best for you. ok im babbling now not sure what i said even made sense anyway catch you soon caroline x
ReplyDeleteThank you lovely, It really means a lot :) x
Deletemusic!! If I am collecting my son I always have music playing that way I block out the noise and no-one will talk to me
ReplyDeleteMusic is a total god send for me, blocks out my surroundings perfectly x
DeleteI suffer really badly with social anxiety, infact just anxiety in general. You can read my blog post about it here http://www.missporkpie.com/2014/11/my-anxiety-lets-get-honest.html - all I do to try and get through the dreaded school run is stick to the people I know for as long as possible (a few months ago I didn't know anyone!) and if there isn't anyone I know I either sip water or pop in a chewing gum, it refreshes me and let's me get through the drop off so I can basically run home after! Hope this helps! xx
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear your suffering with it too, It really does suck! I'll have to try the chewing gum I always tend to concentrate on my chewing pattern when I have any so I guess that would be a great escape, Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment x
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