Yesterday I traveled up to fareham Hampshire by train,coach and then a taxi.
Yeah so what?
Well all was going well until I boarded the coach then the panic set in, I had to breathe in and out as if I was in labour and then came the tears I was ready to run off the coach and back to the train station to come home I can't do this.
But I had to there was no way in hell I was letting one of my best friends from primary school down on her big and special day, We haven't seen each others in years and I was lucky enough to get an invite.
So a quick text to my mum just simply saying tell me I can do this?
With a reply back of how I can do it and just imagine my friend Beckies face when she see's me there
That was it set in stone I'm not turning back!
The coach set off I was still in quite a flap knowing I couldn't turn back now and many times tempted to run to the front and ask him to stop so I could get off.
Then came a text from Andy he was just setting off himself to meet me at the other end, Brilliant I can relax now a little while later my phone vibrates and Andys text he has a problem with his bike and has to go back. Que my stomach just dropping so hard it almost made me gag then never mind his still coming he'll just be a little later no problem.
After nodding off a few times and reading my magazine to keep my mind of panicking I arrived at Fareham bus station!
Then it was a taxi to the wedding venue, As i'm strolling up to the church I see my friends nan and automatically felt safe again, she's known me since I was tiny she was shocked about my travel to get there and then came the god send I could jump in the car back with them if I wanted.
Halleluiah!!!
I wasn't due to travel back until 12:3O the next day and already having panic attacks I was dreading it.
With the lift being offered for that night and Andy having so many bike problems we decided it would be best he didn't struggle to get up there and I'll see him when I get home, As by the time he got to me it would be around 8-9pm anyway, so it made sense for him to just stay put at home.
If you suffer with anxiety you'll know how going somewhere over 2 hours away from home alone and staying is a BIG thing to do
With the offer of a lift home that night I was able to relax and enjoy the day.
I'm so proud of your darling, and doing that all by yourself, you need a medal sweetie, big hugs ma'darling
ReplyDeleteand as a pressy, ill make you the most beautiful, theme EVER loveyou my little lulu <3
Thank you lovely :) Next stop Scotland but I'll have my mumsie with me for that one, I abso love my theme thank you so much ❤
DeleteThat is a big thing to do. I know exactly how you feel, my home town is 6 hours away from where I live currently and going down there is horrible as I used to go down by myself and I would panic so much and once we went on the London tube, it was awful! But now I go down with my family so it is so much easier to relax knowing your safe with them. I panic about a lot of things. Even being in a slightly crowded shop is a big step I get really hot and flustered and feel like people are much closer to me than they are. I'm sure you probably feel the same way.
ReplyDeleteIt's so horrible, Things that are so simple for others is the biggest thing to even attempt, I'm making sure I book tickets for my other half or mum next time. I'm eager to go again now I've done it just not in a rush to go alone, Everywhere I go it feels like peoples eyes are only a few centimeters away from me when they are no where near me, Thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave a comment :) x
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