Anxiety & Me | CBT Therapy

I thought it was time I done an up to date post on my anxiety as it's been awhile since I done a post solely on just my anxiety, it's appeared briefly in a few of my most recent posts. 

I can't remember if I had mentioned in my last Anxiety & me post but I was offered a 6 week course of Cognitive behavioural therapy. 

The first hurdle for me was the phone call assessment the whole idea of an hour phone call was a big enough hurdle as it is but I managed it and that call alone made me realise how I don't want to say traumatic the whole situation with Daisies due date mix up was because that seems pretty dramatic but in all honestly it kind of was, knowing that if I had been left any longer she may not be with us today. 

After the phone call I was told I'd receive an appointment when the next available slot comes up, it did and pretty quickly but I had no way of getting there so shortly after I received a call offering me a more local appointment, Then came D day no one was free to be able to come along with me and I was ready to not turn up but I pushed myself not only for myself but for my girls if I wanted to get better I needed to accept the help I was given.

I absolutely hated my first appointment and from that point I was sure I wasn't returning but after calming down and thinking it over I stuck it out and went along to the second appointment which was so much better.

At the time I never understood how the appointments were helping me because to me it felt like I turned up and just had a chat for 45 minutes with a stranger but that helped in some kind of way, As the weeks went on I was noticing little differences and before I knew it my 6 weeks were up! 

Since my therapy I've been nice and early on the school runs leaving the girls time to play before school starts if you read my Last mum through the gate post you'll know that I purposely made sure we wouldn't get to the gate until everyone else was leaving which left me snappy and getting in a flap. 

Not only that but as mentioned briefly in a previous post unrelated to anxiety I mentioned attending a firework display and 3 parks without once feeling overwhelmed and like I just had to get home as soon as I could but I sat and enjoyed the moment taking it all in just like I used to.

I spend most of mornings having breakfast with some mum friends, I'm happy to go on buses and trains alone shopping, I will go over to people I know and say Hi if they haven't noticed me rather than sneaking past hoping they don't, I feel confident to be applying for jobs as much as I can.

Now I'm not going to say I'm completely free of anxiety I still get very anxious in certain situations and I can't relax with my bag out in areas I'm not familiar with or visit every day but maybe I'm just very aware of the possibilities.

CBT therapy certainly has helped me and I still find it crazy how because I really didn't think it would after my first appointment so I'm really glad I stuck it out. 

I feel like I've been given my wings back and I'm able to fly.

I highly recommend CBT therapy to anyone with anxiety if you're offered it, It's not for everyone but it certainly was for me and the difference is amazing!